Bored at Home? Wear a Swim Suit!

Oh hey der.

You’re probably wondering…

What is she talking about? And how do boredom and swim suits go together at all?

WELL I’m here to tell you!

I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m bored at home, I LOVE to eat.

I just eat it all.  I walk around the house, aimless wandering through rooms, bored as crap looking for something to do, and I always end up back at the fridge.  And no matter how many time I look in the fridge, no new food appears.  In fact, the food keeps disappearing because I keep eating it.  It’s pretty annoying.

So yesterday I decided to wake up and put my bathing suit on so I could do some tanning.  Fortunately, I’m finally out of school and I have the free time to do things like tan and workout. YAY SUMMER!

But then as I was sitting around the house in my bikini, trying to decide what to eat for breakfast, I realized that I was more inclined to eat a healthy breakfast when confronted with the fact that it’s bathing suit season!

P.S. This is what I ended up eating for breakfast! Turkey Burger scramble with 1 egg, 1 egg white, broccoli and tomatoes. Lot’s of protein to start the morning, because I know personally I NEED protein to get my day going. Follow me on Vine to see more healthy food posts!

Turkey burger scramble vine from Whitney Catalano on Vimeo.

Now, in no way am I saying that bikini season should be your number 1 motivation for eating healthy.  Healthy is a way of life, not some temporary diet to fit into a swim suit. BUT sometimes we do need a little help realizing that standing in front of the pantry inhaling a bag of chips is not a balanced way to start the day.

And don’t worry, this fun little tip isn’t totally coming out of left field.  Back when I was a psychology major (LOLZ like last year), I learned about studies in which the subjects who looked at themselves in a mirror while eating ate significantly slower and less food than the subjects who had no mirrors in the room.  It’s all about self-awareness and how being conscious of what you’re doing helps prevent bored tendencies like eating without being hungry.

This same idea applies to wearing workout clothes all day! Whenever I go to class in my workout clothes, not only do I feel healthier and more active, influencing me to make healthier decisions, but I am also pressuring myself to ACTUALLY workout.  There’s nothing worse than waking up in the morning and saying you are going to work out, and then coming home to change and never leave your bed again. I’VE DONE IT! Have you guys??

Finally, wearing a bathing suit around the house rocks because I personally have been using this free time to get my Pilates on pretty much every day, and it’s fun to reward myself with how awesome I FEEL in a bathing suit.  Of course I could sit here and tell you all the little things I would love to change about my body, because realistically I will always have SOME problem with how I look, but if I FEEL great, I want to embrace it!

So there’s my little tip for today.  Wear a bathing suit to feel great, to stop boredom eating, and to get outside and soak up some sun (and some good Vitamin D!)

YAY SUMMER!

K bye.

411 on Going Vegetarian or Vegan

HI

Finally I have a chance to do a post and hopefully absorb some of this information, considering I got kind of carried away making these pretty, color-coated information sheets to put in my Health/Pilates journal.

I mean, it’s not a total waste of time, because I want to be able to have all this information written down somewhere when I need it later! Plus, it actually does help me study, so I’m hoping for the best.

ANYWAY I have some really important information for you guys about adopting a vegetarian or vegan diet.  It was really pretty interesting learning this stuff because I have so many friends who go through periods of time being vegetarian or vegan (although I feel like that’s less common), and yet I feel like there’s so much information and confusion about how to get all the proper nutrients.

Protein

Unfortunately, Soy is the only complete plant protein.  By complete, I mean that it has all 9 essential amino acids.  Vegetarians and Vegans (even lacto-ovo vegetarians) should be familiar with Rules of Complementing when choosing protein sources, because it is critical that we get all 9 essential amino acids over the course of 24 hours: 

Rules of Complementing:

• Legumes and Grains:
  Examples are Peanut Butter and Jelly on Whole Grain bread, beans and rice (sooo Mexican food?), split pea soup and whole grain (lolz, this is an example my teacher gave us), etc.
• Legumes with Nuts/Seeds:
  Trail Mix with peanuts and almonds, Whole Grain bread with hummus, avocado and hemp seeds (literally everyday), etc.

Complements are really important because protein deficiency is detrimental (protein = amino acids! AKA Proteins = life).

Also, another really important thing to note is:

Never take amino acid supplements!

Even if someone tries to convince you that amino acid supplements will help you get all your essential amino acids, they are lying.  Not only are supplements not tested or approved by government health organizations (although, I don’t know if I would call the FDA credible, but you know what I mean), but also, individual amino acid supplements create an imbalance in your blood.  If you take a lot of one or a few amino acids, it will disrupt the balance in your body, and could lead to a decrease in absorption of others.  Basically, it’ll just really confuse your body, so don’t do it.

Vitamins

Vitamins are SUPER IMPORTANT to think about, especially when going vegan, because vitamin deficiency has really scary symptoms (I literally have to memorize the details of like 15 different vitamins and minerals and trust, it’s way easier to take a supplement than deal with these side effects).

Iron: 

• The Iron DRI (Daily Recommended Intake) for vegetarians is 1.8x more than the Iron DRI for meat-eaters.  I won’t bother with the actual DRI, because actually calculating the mg you are eating everyday is not realistic at all, so just know that it’s higher because meat is a main source of Iron.
• Good vegetarian sources for Iron are: Spinach, lentils, beans, tofu, chickpeas and fortified bread
  - Fortified bread (aka not whole, but enriched and fortified with nutrients) is better to eat when cutting out a food group because certain vitamins and minerals are added back into the bread.  Remember that 50% of your grains should be whole (read my post on carbs!), but the other half can be good, fortified bread if you’re worried about nutrients!

Vitamin B-12 / Riboflavin:

• This vitamin is primarily a problem for Vegans, because Vitamin B-12 is only found in microbes (yogurt) and animal foods 
• Fortunately, you can buy soy milk with added B-12! 
• This too is added into enriched grains 
• And just to be on the safe side, vegans should definitely take a B-12 supplement 

Omega-3:

• As you might remember from my super outdated (and hopefully not incorrect) post about fats, omega-3′s are essential fatty acids that are important to get in your diet
• Vegetarians still eating fish (Pescatarians? I don’t know, according to my professor, it’s not a real thing but if I were a vegetarian, I would DEFINITELY be one… sushi > every food, ever.) won’t have a problem because fish is the best source for Omega-3′s
• Lacto-Ovo Vegetarians can get omega-3′s from egg yolks, which is good because I also would never be able to cut out my daily breakfast of a fried egg on toast with avocado and spinach
• Vegans should eat HEMP SEEDS!! This suggestion is definitely not in my notes or anything, but I eat hemp seeds all the time and they rock and are packed with omega-3′s and omega-6′s (Remember when I first became obsessed with hemp seeds?? Still am).
• Also, olive oil, canola oil and peanut oil (peanut butter? hmmm, protein AND omega’s… sound’s like a winner!) are all rich in Omega-3′s, while vegetable oil has a lot of omega-6.

Supplements: 

• Vegetarians are advised to take a One-A-Day supplement, and Vegans should definitely be taking a supplement.
• Any supplements taken of any vitamin or mineral, even daily vitamins, should have 100% of the daily amount and not be a weird combination.  If investing in vitamins, you might as well just get all of what you need to ensure proper nutrition.

So there you go! Important things to know about being a vegetarian or vegan.  Later I’ll be able to post more fun stuff on the topic, but right now I’m just trying to get the facts down and put them in a context I’ll remember.  I hope you guys like this!! I’ve never really thought about the fact that vegetarians have more of a risk for deficiency, even though that seems obvious now, so hopefully when making diet changes, you guys can use some of this information to stay healthy!!

Tomorrow morning before my exam I’ll post a lot more as a way to review!

Using my Blog to Study for Finals!

HIII

Just as a heads up, I’m cramming for my nutrition final over the next three days, and will be using my blog to study! Soo get ready for way to much information about things you guys probably don’t care about. YAY!

First I have to go to a meeting for another class…. but STAY TUNED!

English Muffwiches and 411 on Carbs!

HI I’M BACK!

Where have I been? Who even knows.  What I do know is that I’ve had this post finished for a while and it’s time to post it.

SO this post is about how much I LOVEEE English muffins.  I hope you all don’t mind, but I refer to English Muffins as “muffs”, and an English Muffin sandwich a “muffwich”, which I realize are inappropriate, but that’s why I do it, so I hope you accept my immaturity.

In order to explain my amazing sandwich, I’m going to go through all the various parts and break down the entire process for you guys because I’m excited and I feel very strongly about the unlimited potential of a muffwich. Ready??

Finding the Perfect Muff..in

(I’ll keep it somewhat PG with my use of the word Muff)

There are really only 2 options, and anybody who tries to disagree is just wrong.

Thomas 100% Whole Wheat English Muffins.

This is really the ultimate English Muffin because Thomas is really the only acceptable brand.  I don’t know if Thomas was the first to make the perfect English Muffin, but in my mind they are because they are really are absolutely perfect and remind me of childhood.

I picked the 100% Whole Wheat because although the original white bread ones are the OG Thomas English Muffins, these are healthier (which I explain below)!  Also, they are thicker and more filling, which is necessary because most of the time I want to eat like 3 English Muffins at once.

Although the Thomas muffs are delish, I am actually more fond of….

Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Whole Grain English Muffins

I’ve already posted about how much I love Ezekiel bread, so I’m sure you guys can imagine how awesome these muffs are.  Basically, they are much thicker than any other English Muffin and so they absorb vegan butter really well (I’m sure they absorb all butter really well, but vegan butter rocks), they are denser so they are actually more satisfying (and filling!), and of course they are delicious because Ezekiel bread has the most distinct and delicious taste.

As you guys probably noticed, the Ezekiel muffs are also Whole Grain, so I guess now it’s a good time to share with you my…

411 on Carbs

Which I have learned about extensively in my Life Cycles of Nutrition class this semester.  AKA This information is legit, so get pumped.

1. Healthy Carbs are naturally occurring carbs, meaning they are whole or unrefined
2. Refined complex carbs are not very healthy because the refining process takes a whole carb and strips it of nutrients and vitamins (So there is not nearly as much nutritional benefit)
3. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans suggests that 50% of the grain we eat should be whole grain
4. The only time a carb can be considered whole/unrefined/naturally occurring in the United States (these terms are interchangeable) is when it has one of these two specific packaging labels:
   – 100% Whole Grain/Whole Wheat –> means it has 0 Refined Carbs and >16 g of whole grain/serving
   – Basic Whole Grain Stamp –> means it has >8 g of whole grain/serving.  This label must be used if there is another type of grain in addition to the 8 g of whole grain.  With a basic stamp, it’s a good idea to check the ingredient list because the additional grain can potentially be only refined or enriched grains which can sometimes defeat the purpose of eating a whole grain product
5. Guidelines suggest that we should eat at least 130 g/day of carbohydrates in order to provide the brain with adequate glucose and thus prevent ketosis
6. Ketosis occurs when we do not have sufficient Glucose to be used in the TCA Cycle (aka the Citric Acid or Kreb’s Cycle, which is carried out by aerobic organisms in order to generate energy) –> When the TCA Cycle doesn’t have fuel, Acetyl CoA turns into Ketone Bodies, which are weak acids that, in excess, lower the blood’s pH and can lead to acidosis of the blood (which is really bad, trust)
7. While the minimum glucose requirement is 130 g, the recommendation is that 45-65% of Calories should come from carbohydrates, with, as I already mentioned, 50% of those calories being from whole grain

So in summary, the Thomas English Muffins are awesome for you and are totally okay to eat because they are 100% Whole Grain, which is a big effing deal, and then the Ezekiel muffs, although only “Whole Grain” and not “100% Whole Grain”, are still awesome for you because the other grains included in the bread are literally all organic healthy grains that are just not able to be labeled “whole grain”

Helpful Labeling Tricks:

• Packaging labels such as “Multigrain”, “Stone Ground”, “Unbleached” or “High Fiber” all mean NOTHING in terms of the product being a whole grain. “Multigrain” has always tricked me because it just seems so healthy and trendy! Check the ingredient list!
• “White Whole Wheat”, which I actually recently saw at the grocery store, is actually whole wheat! This really surprised me because before I learned that, I was really disappointed in the brand for making something so fake, but I guess I was mistaken.

And finally…

The Perfect Muffwich

The Ingredients:

1. Fresh ball of Mozzarella from the Olive Bar
2. Sun Dried tomatoes
3. Artichoke hearts
4. Sun Dried tomato hummus (Cedar’s is the best)
5. Alfalfa sprouts
6. Fresh spinach
7. Avocado
8. Tomatoes
9. Deli sliced turkey
10. And of course… Muffs

1. Toast the muffs so that they are nice and warm and golden brown, and then spread the sun dried tomato hummus on each side

2. On both halves put sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and avocado slices

3. On one half I put sprouts and 2 slices of mozzarella, and on the other half I put spinach and 2 slices of mozzarella and then cracked salt and pepper on each to enhance the flavor of the mozzarella.  Instead of spinach, I also like using Kale or Arugula.

4. Place both halves, open faced, on tin foil and under the broiler for 5 ish minutes.  Keep the oven door cracked so you can take it out when the mozzarella is perfectly melty!

5. Keeping the broiler on, take the muff out and cover each half with a few slices of turkey.  Put them back in for a few minutes for the turkey to get a little brown.  Since English Muffins are so small, I only eat open-faced English Muffin sandwiches because they last longer and the turkey acts like a second slice of bread.

6. Enjoy! And if the actual english muffin gets a little soggy from all the ingredients, I like placing halves on top of the toaster and turning the toaster on so that only the bottom gets nice and crispy.

Basically, now that winter has officially come to an end and it’s time to get my life (and by life I mean health and fitness) organized for skimpy spring clothes and trips to the beach, it’s time to start making all my food again and actually paying attention to what I have been learning in my nutrition class (LOL learning…)

Muffwiches are perfect because not only are they just absolutely delicious, but they can be healthy, they are filling, AND they last longer because they can be split into two little sandwiches instead of one big one!

I hope you guys enjoyed this post It felt really good to blog again, so let’s hope I can keep writing more, at least everyone once in a while, because I genuinely feel bad that I haven’t shared all my super awesome nutrition information from my class with you guys yet! So stay tuned

Pizza, Goldfish, and Junk Food Side Effects

Literally guys, my diet since I’ve been back in Boston has been pizza, goldfish, coffee, candy and bread.

I don’t know what it is about pizza, but for some reason it never seems THAT bad if you only eat one or two slices or you only take a couple bites here and there. Unfortunately, even gluten-free, moderately healthy pizza is way too much when it becomes a daily staple in my diet. 

The past few weeks didn’t go quite as I predicted in my most recent post.  I had all these plans to start getting healthy again, and running again, etc., but these plans got delayed a bit due to Recruitment and the 2 weeks of non-stop sorority shenanigans that have occupied my pre-semester days.

Basically, we started preparing for Recruitment on the 8th and the 9th with Spirit Days, during which I ate Mexican food 3 different times.  Yes, I ate Mexican food 3 times in 2 days. Don’t judge me, it was delicious.

It didn’t seem that bad because I normally don’t get cheese or sour cream or anything when I eat Mexican food, but my stomach was NOT happy with me, and I’m quickly finding out that my body might have an aversion to this type of cheesy-rice-and-bean deliciousness. 

On the 10th we had a day off to rest, and I ended up going to 2 Pilates classes that day, one after the other.  I’ve seriously never felt so tired.  We didn’t even do that much during Spirit Days, but for some reason I was just so exhausted already and could barely make it through my classes.  I was probably giving 50% effort, and I even had to stop a lot because I wasn’t feeling it and I wasn’t tuned into my body. Of course we all have days like that, but it’s kind of a shame because those days seem sort of wasteful.

The 11th-14th were the Recruitment days! Now don’t get me wrong, I loved recruitment so much and it was an amazing time to bond with all my sisters and get excitement up about our sorority, but it was also one of the most tiring things I’ve ever done.

Day 1!

Day 2! Our Philanthropy day

The first two days, we were in the same room for about 4 hours at a time, with quick 10 or 15 minute breaks every hour.  After the first 4 hours, we got a “lunch” break (called lunch, even though it happened at 6 pm), and then returned to that room for another 4 hours or however long it took. We then stayed 3-4 more hours cleaning up, getting ready for the next day and organizing everything.

The thing with Recruitment is that none of us want to have to pee in the middle of our long blocks of time when we are stuck in that room! In case you guys can’t see where I’m going with this, nobody was really drinking much water.  The first two days I think I had about 4 sips of water before 10 pm.

To make this situation worse, I was scrambling for fuel during our breaks, which meant I was shoveling Goldfish and Starbursts and Pixie Sticks (ew) into my face whenever I got the chance, even if I wasn’t hungry.  Then at the end of the night, I would convince myself to eat a full “healthy” meal so that I could get some nutrition, even though it was 10 pm and I was extremely full.

Day 3 is Garden Party! You can’t tell in this picture, but my entire body was puffy

By the 3rd day of all this, my ENTIRE body was bloated.  I’m not kidding, my face, stomach, arms and even legs were all so puffy. My stomach felt like I was carrying around a bag of potatoes, and I was starting to get little sores in my mouth.  It seriously always shocks me how quickly and dramatically my body reacts to junk food, especially when it comes to mouth sores and breaking out. I’ve never really had a problem with breaking out, and yet 2 days of junk food will give me the most frustrating bumps on my face that turn bright red and don’t go away for like 2 weeks. Awesome.

Day 4 we got to put on black dresses and get all dolled up, which is my favorite

Days 3 and 4 were much shorter, and so I finally started to get some sleep again and get on a somewhat normal eating schedule.  Unfortunately, my brain* was really diggin’ all this junk food, and so I’ve spent pretty much every day since then snacking on pizza with my roommates or incorporating bread into EVERY meal.

*The reason I emphasize that my brain was into the junk food is because while my body was yelling at me to stop shoving crap in my face, my brain was becoming more and more addicted to the chemicals and immediate sugar in what I was eating. Unfortunately, my brain wins a lot of the time because I like to make excuses in order to ignore my body.

———————————-

Anyway, I always like to make a mental note of those “Wow Whitney, this junk food is hurting your body so you should probably cut that shit out” moments because they are the moments when my body wins over my brain.  This time, it started to hit me at the end of last week, but amidst the hype of our new members, and the mindset that the first week of the semester should involve going out every night possible, the actualization of this realization was further put off for more midnight pizzas and candy.

Me, my new little and my big!! I know, we’re precious

Finally, on Saturday night we went on a Retreat with all our new members that was literally about 30 hours of bonding and hanging out with sisters and learning about ADPi.  Being in a hotel and away from all the chaos made me fully understand how FULL I was! Seriously, I was still full from the day before (and honestly, I think I might have been full since recruitment).  The most I ate all day on Saturday was soup and all of the avocado out of a salad that I intended to eat for dinner.

When I got home on Sunday, my roommates and I all looked at each other, and pretty much simultaneously were like “we should probably stop eating pizza and junk food”.  The general consensus is that all of us are just tired of feeling sluggish and heavy and unhealthy! Even though we have 2 huge boxes of goldfish sitting there on our kitchen counter tempting us, I don’t think any of us have touched them for a couple of days because they look sooooo unappealing.

Seriously though, I LOVE those moments when I realize I’m not the only one who has really dramatic side effects to eating badly. I’m convinced there should be a warning on the side of processed food that says “may make your body REALLY freaking pissed at you”.

I’m not kidding guys, junk food WRECKS your bod.  It just does. And the only way our bodies are able to communicate when we are eating shitty food or mistreating ourselves is by sending little warning signals like fatigue, mouth sores (gross), body odor (the body’s way of expelling built-up toxins), slow digestion (it feels like I’m passing bricks through my stomach), pimples, etc. Seriously, the list goes on and on. 

The problem is that many people don’t listen to their bodies, or don’t even know how to! Before I actually changed my eating habits completely this summer and understood what it meant to feel healthy, I had no idea that anything physically wrong with me could be related to food. Now I’m pretty much able to pinpoint the exact meal or bad-eating-choices day that is linked with whichever physical side effect I have discovered, even if it is the most minor thing in the world.

I was talking to my roommates last night about this concept, and I realized that I have gotten exponentially better at listening to my body, even since the summer. Pretty much every day I come home and I’m feeling side effects to whatever I’ve been eating (even if they are good side effects!), I’ll stand there with my roommates and tell them exactly what is going on in my body and why it is happening.

I honestly didn’t even realize I did this so much, but I think it’s because once I say it out loud, it forces me to recognize that whatever temporary habit I have developed is either hurting or helping me, and that I need to act accordingly. It is absolutely crucial to fully understand what healthy feels like, because  this understanding provides a source of comparison for when things are wrong.

Not only is this crucial when trying to diet or stay fit or eat healthy or whatever, but it is also crucial for noticing when we are sick or injured or chemically unbalanced, etc. It can be so easy to forget how powerful our bodies really are, and how obvious the warning signs can be, simply because it’s really easy to ignore our bodies if we aren’t making an effort to get to know them.

The funny part about all of this for me is that because I have made an effort to become acquainted with my body and learn how it communicates with me, I have a much more difficult time ignoring it when it’s mad! All of the side effects feel so much worse and so much more extreme simply because I know why they are happening and I know how much better it feels to be healthy. As annoying as it is, I love being in touch with my body and understanding what makes me feel certain ways!

For those of you trying to better understand your bodies, I would suggest using a journal or using even your roommates to write down / vocalize exactly what is going on in your body and how you feel after you eat a particular food.  It’s really amazing how easy it is to catch on to all of our body’s little tricks and messages!

Okay, that’s all for right now, but I have a lot of really good stuff to share with you guys this week so get exciteedddddddd!

New Year’s Resolutions?

HIIIIII

Okay, I’m actually back this time.

Here’s the deal.  I had a rough semester, I thought I was going to start blogging again when things got better, but then I just didn’t.  Writing a blog is a lot of work! And I just needed a break.

Soooooooo, I’m starting the new year by blogging for a couple of reasons:

1. SO many people over break and then back at school have mentioned my blog to me and how much they love it, and it always reminds me how much I actually do love blogging.  Although I sometimes feel kind of narcissistic (whoops) thinking that people actually want to read about me and my craziness, I also know how much help I’ve gotten from other people’s blogs and how happy it makes me when even just one person is inspired or comforted or whatever from something that I write.
2. One of the reasons I even started this blog was to have some sort of personal addition to my future Pilates/Dietetics career, and the fact that I have to be an adult soon is really starting to hit me. I just want to be able to have some sort of resource that shows how invested I am in this lifestyle and how passionate I am about health, even if I barely ever listen to my own advice.
3. I have talked a lot with therapists recently about how cathartic it is to write about yourself and your emotions and, especially with food or stress, what particular things set you off and how you are feeling when binge eating or panicking, etc.  Unfortunately, I’ve started probably 35 journals in my life, only to write about 3 or 4 entries and then stick the journal in my drawer and never look at it again.  This blog is a constant outlet for me to talk about myself (oops brutal honesty) and get everything off my chest, and seems to be one of the only ways I will confront what is going on in my life in terms of eating and emotions and whatnot.

Finally, and most importantly for you guys, I am taking some AWESOME nutrition/health classes this semester and I want you guys to know everything that I learn! YAY!

So just a little update on me:

I got back to Boston on the 5th, and I kept telling myself I would start all my “resolutions” when I got back to Boston, because frankly LA has way better food than Boston, and I kind of just wanted to treat myself while I was home with an unlimited amount of delicious restaurants.

I kind of started sporadically eating red meat again when I was home (red meat is the only thing that I actually haven’t started eating again since I originally cut it out), mainly whenever my mom made something delicious or whenever I went out to eat and wanted bacon or something. I also overloaded on cheese (remember when I cut out cheese? lolz…that didn’t last long) and things cooked in saturated and trans fats (here is the list of good and bad fats in case you were wondering whether or not eating french fries everyday is healthy) and just really really shitty food because it seemed delicious and I was giving myself a break or something.

Despite all my poor eating decisions, I continued to go to Pilates nearly everyday and maintain some degree of body consciousness so that it wouldn’t turn into one of my binge eating, feeling horrible about myself cycles, and I think I did a pretty good job! It was pretty interesting actually because while I did go out of my way to eat all the shitty food I have missed while in Boston, I was never really satisfied with any of the food.

What I mean is that while I was very happy to eat some dankness and to stop caring a little bit, there were some days that I would have this plan to go out and get some heavy but delicious food, and then I wouldn’t be hungry or I would be craving vegetables, and all the food just didn’t seem very appealing.

Of course, that didn’t really last very long.  The gross food still wins a lot of the time, and I am definitely seeing the aftermath in my body, but I’m honestly not too concerned about it. To be real with you guys though, I did have a few break downs during break about my body, especially in the week before New Year’s Eve when I was trying to “diet” or whatever to fit into this bangin’ sparkly skin-tight dress, but for the most part I was feeling pretty okay with myself!

Realistically though, I was bound to have a few break downs because the holidays are literally my downfall when it comes to eating.  There is just so much food thrown in your face, and I personally have a really hard time being able to stop eating before I get full, and then I was drinking a lot of wine and eating a lot of those damn h’orderves, and I was just watching all of it go directly to my stomach.

I actually had this really ridiculous break down where I cried to my mom about how I was getting morbidly obese or whatever and that I wouldn’t be able to fit into my New Year’s Eve dress, blah blah blah.  Basically I was under the impression that whatever extra fat I was seeing in my stomach was this permanent fat that I would never get rid of or something… I don’t know, my crazy brain doesn’t ever make sense.  Anyway, the moral of that story is that in the 2 days before New Year’s Eve, I just made sure to overload on veggies and protein, and cut out all the shitty food, and as it turns out, my stomach was looking fatter because I had eaten so much crap in such a short amount of time and literally just hadn’t gotten a chance to digest any of it!

It’s pretty funny because that is the exact reason why so many people follow food combining rules.  I’ll do a separate post about it another time, but basically when you mix a lot of different foods that take different amounts of time to digest, it clogs up your digestive system and creates bloating and discomfort and it’s just no buenz.  So when you stuff your face with holiday food for 3 days without even stopping to breathe, of course your body is going to need some time to get it all out of you.

So yeah, then I got back to school and I haven’t been the most diligent by any means, but I have finally started to get back into a routine of eating healthy and making my own food and not going out to eat for every meal and working out on a regular schedule again.

In terms of my “New Year’s Resolutions” that I promised myself to do when I get back to Boston, I still do have some, but they are a little bit different because I’ve decided that I don’t necessarily believe in New Year’s Resolutions.  I definitely think they depend on the person and on the circumstance, but for the most part I feel like resolutions are just ways to make people feel better about starting the new year, because who doesn’t love telling themselves that they are finally going to get healthy, even if it doesn’t happen? To me, resolutions are a lot like fad dieting, where you go balls to the wall for anywhere from one day to maybe a month, and then all of a sudden something changes and every goal is just forgotten.
This is why, instead of resolutions, I have made some…

Goals for the New Year!

1. Start running again! I haven’t run since I hurt my knee, partially because my knee honestly still hurts when I do too much, but mostly because I’m scared to go back. Frankly, I’m scared I won’t be as good of a runner (because obviously I won’t, but that’s a dumb fear), I’m scared some mystical gym fairies will judge me for the fact that I haven’t run in months (an example of my narcissism because literally NOBODY at the gym cares what I’m doing or even knows that I haven’t run in a while), and I’m just scared to get out of my comfort zone.  It’s pretty stupid too because I used to really enjoy running, and the fact that I haven’t gone back and even tried is ridiculous.
2. No more red meat! Seriously, I actually haven’t had any since break, and it’s pretty funny because when I tried whatever meat dishes were presented to me, it didn’t even taste good and I never really crave it. So that’s out again.
3. Veggies, veggies, veggies. I need to get back to overloading on veggies whenever I can.  Over break I went so many days without even looking at a vegetable, and I felt awful.
4. Start blogging again! Pretty self explanatory.  I really don’t want to post this one and then not post again for a month and a half, so I think my biggest challenge will be to set time aside everyday to reflect and find some awesome information for you guys and write some of this shiz out
5. Find a job teaching Pilates. Literally, the only reason I haven’t done this yet is because I’m scared that I’m not ready.  But realistically, I’m never going to be ready until I just do it.  This is so freaking terrifying because I’ve never done anything like this before in my life, but I just need to buck up and do it because I love Pilates and I think I have the ability to be a really good teacher with some time and practice.

So yeah, those are my goals. I’m going to stop writing now because this post is far too long for anybody to read, but I’m really glad to be back and I hope you guys are glad I’m back as well! And if you’re not, then… that’s pretty awkward, but WHATEVA I’m back and I’ll be doing this for a while.

And here are some pictures of what I’ve been doing recently in case you guys were at all curious:

At the Nutcracker!

New Year’s Eve!

Christmas with mah mama

Formal

Depression is like an Ocean Wave

Hey guys!!

Okay, I swear this recent break from blogging actually hasn’t been related to my crazy emotions. It honestly just has been due to the fact that I’ve been so busy getting ready for finals.  Realistically, blogging is going to be really difficult while I’m in school, but I’m not going to stop by any means, and hopefully I can continue with more regularity during literally ANY other semester than this hellish one.

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking a lot about depression recently, and so of course I’ve also been thinking a lot about binge eating and emotional eating and just my relationship with food, and so I’d like to share some of what I have learned.

In terms of my mental health, I am doing SO much better, and this post is coming from a really good place. In my last post I definitely was doing better, and was finally out of the constant crying and sadness (except when getting ready or looking in the mirror in general), but I still wasn’t back to normal yet because, as I just said, I was still very sad and was still giving myself a really hard time for every little thing I did.

Now I am doing so much better because I finally feel like I’m back to my normal self again.  Even when getting ready this weekend, I felt really good about myself and felt very confident, even though realistically I look the same as I did two weeks ago.

But so the reason I’ve been thinking about depression and eating a lot is because 1. I finally have a clear head and can think about what I was going through during that period of time, and 2. A really close friend of mine is currently in the same low time as I was in, and when I went to talk to her about it, she literally was saying, almost word for word, exactly what I was saying to my roommates a month ago.

Just in general, a lot of my being able to identify with exactly what she was saying has to do with the fact that her and I have this undeniable connection as friends, and ever since we first met, we started opening up to each other and just knew we were going to be close.  Regardless though, I really think we were able to talk about and better understand a lot of aspects of having depression that I was not able to understand before or during this really low time of mine (Just as background information, I’ve been diagnosed with depression since I was young, but I never saw someone because every time I’ve had my low times, I have never wanted to admit that I needed help and so I never really understood why these low times have come and gone)

While we were talking, my friend explained what one of her therapists told her about depression, and it made a lot of sense so I thought I would share it with you guys.

Depression is like an ocean wave.

She explained that you are depressed, it is always there, whether mild, moderate or severe, and that even still, nobody really knows why depression happens, other than it has a lot to do with genetics and the chemicals in our brain and serotonin levels and whatnot. The way it works though is that when depression kicks in and you are in your peak low point, it is as if the wave is crashing and reaching its fullest potential.  This is why the times when the wave crashes are when we feel SO horrible and just all life is drained.

The aspect of a wave that is kind of comforting though is that a wave is not always crashing.  Every time it crashes, it has to pull back to settle again. Now, in order to not think I’m completely full of shit, you have to remember that depression is like the slowest wave ever, because these calm times can last a really long time and be really great.  The problem is that when the wave does crash, it is sometimes really hard to remember that it will ever get better.

Although I hated talking to her about this because I just hate to see her miserable, and hate even more that I know how awful it is, I also loved talking to her about it because everything she was saying was spot on to what I was saying a month ago. The hard part about those low times is that literally all rational thinking goes out the window, and things just seem really hopeless and endless, so it’s helpful to be able to think about it after the fact in a more clear-headed way.

After she explained to me the concept of depression being a wave, I explained to her my absolute favorite piece of knowledge that I learned in like 5th grade science class.

Every force has an equal and opposite force 

Yes, I did slightly misquote Newton’s Third Law of Motion.  Technically it’s “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”, but that doesn’t work as well for me.

Anyway, the reason that I love it so much is that there is evidence of that rule in literally everything.  It’s technically only supposed to describe motion, but in my mind, it describes so much more than that. Basically how it works with depression is that for every low point, and for every point when you don’t want to get out of bed and you don’t feel like talking to people, and you just want to wallow and be exhausted and miserable, there HAS to be an equal high time when things are absolutely amazing, and you just want to be around everyone and just spread your happiness with the world.

Maybe the last part is a little extreme, but you guys know what I’m trying to say! Sorry I just get a little bit too aggressive when I’m happy…

But seriously, this is one of those bits of wisdom that I carry around with me and try to remind myself to remember this when you’re in the middle of an extremely low point, but it can still be there to serve as hope for the future.

Also, when it comes to periods of time when you just can’t stop eating everything in sight, or you’re feeling really bad about yourself, you have to remember that it won’t last forever.  Obviously this is less concrete because, for the most part, self-confidence is something that we have to find a way to make for ourselves (ew to whoever made up that rule), but it becomes easier when you realize that it doesn’t have to be bad forever, and that it is possible to have a really great relationship with food and with your body. 

Honestly, I would much rather be one of those people who experiences those horribly low points for the simple fact that there are such high points that go along, and for the fact that I really think these low times of mine have given me a broader capacity empathize with others and understand the depth of human emotions.

And relating this all back to binge eating and emotional eating, the way I look at it is that I wouldn’t be fulfilling my passion in dietetics and Pilates without all of those horrible times that taught me about the depths of emotional eating and the seriousness of taking emotions out on food. Because of my experiences, I am able to share whatever wisdom I have picked up over the years with other people who don’t want to ask for help and who think they are alone in all of this.

So yeah, that’s really effing cool, and I’m feeling really lucky that I have such great friends who I can talk all of this out with in order to gain more insight on what the hell is going on inside my crazy brain. I’m also really lucky that my friends love me for being a psycho, because if not, we’d have some serious problems.

SPEAKING of my friends, and because my last few posts have been super depressing and I feel bad, here are some cute pictures of me and my friends in the past few weeks:

Steve is always surrounded by the ladies

Its embarrassing how normal this is

Callie finally being the big spoon

Battling the mice in Callie’s room… WWIII us vs. mice, and I think the mice are winning

Maggie’s butt can NOT be real life.. Just sayin’

We went to Costco and we lost our minds. It’s fine

So I honestly don’t know when I’ll post again, because I have finals in the next few weeks and I am absolutely drowning in work and studying, but I’ll try to make the posts I do write worth while! Peace out for now bitchezz